http://www.weekofgeek.com/video-game-review-saw-3/
Video Game Review Saw
A price drop for the Wii?
So, I'm a PS3 owner (enjoying it thoroughly), and the Wii would have been my second choice. I just saw IGN's video review for the latest Zelda game, Twilight Princess, and it really blew me away. So, you game economics experts, is there any price cut in sight for the Wii? I'd really love to get my hands on one as soon as possible (that is, after the holiday demand ends), and a smaller price would be good, even though it's not very expensive to begin with. 
Happy gaming...
Nintendo has stated that there is no price cut coming any time soon, they are instead focusing their efforts on increasing production.
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Saw: The Video Game Review - MiiDylan
4 Comments
Yeah it’s amazing how a bunch of anonymous people pumped up on a video game will have no problem mouthing off at the minority in the group. Or wait, was this supposed imply that women would never do that, and this is what it would be like if they did?
I don't think you understand what copyright is wings.
Well, unfortunately, I have to get ready for work, so I only read about half of this. But I will still say it is a good start. I like how you draw the reader right in, putting us right into the story. Your language shows the main character's personality, placing us inside Jessica's head. We see the father's character too, learning some background about him and Jessica's mother. I would only suggest a bit of formatting and grammar fixes. For example, this story is currently made of one HUGE paragraph! Try to break it up. Whenever you're talking about a new subject, you should start a new para. You also need a new para whenever a different person is speaking. Like this:
“Come on Jessica, it’s time to go to school.”
Ugh, school. I got out of the desk chair I accidentally slept in from exhausting homework. I got my bag, the one my friend, Alyssa, gave to me many years ago for my birthday. Yes, it’s really old and it still has a big stain from when she accidentally spilled the fruit punch all over, but it’s usable.
So I grabbed the bag and said bye to my dad. “Bye Dad.” He was studying something on the computer.
“Bye sweetie, good luck on your G.O.A.T. test! Remember, don’t cheat!”
You don't have to break it up exactly this way if you don't want, this is just a start. I also noticed a few places where a period or comma went missing, but a thorough read-through should catch these. Also, a couple places where you state something redundant. Like in the line above:
So I grabbed the bag and said bye to my dad. “Bye Dad.”
Pick one of the "bye dads", not both are needed.
But overall, a very good start; keep working on it!
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